I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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