I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
