Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize