I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
