Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She said her name was "party"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
