For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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