I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
