Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
