I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
