Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
