I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
