She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
