do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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