I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
