i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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