U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just pee around me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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