Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize