So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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