Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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