If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Come share oat with me in your robe
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
