I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
