i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
