My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize