2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
