her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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