2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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