is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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