so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
