i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
