now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
