after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
