Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
