So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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