like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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