I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
