people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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