I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
