I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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