i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
