It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
