She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
