Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
