I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize