Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
