I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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