Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
