we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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