there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize