I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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