uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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