It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
