chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
