so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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