Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
