Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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