24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
