i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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