Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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