I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
