It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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