i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
